Daydreamer

If I wanted to, I could start a blog detailing all the reasons I love New York City.  From the homeless men with signs that say, “Fuck it, I just want a beer,” to living art instillations in public parks, to the rumble of the train beneath my feet, to the dozens of hotels I’ve used over the years as my personal restrooms, to the aroma of Starbucks wafting from every corner, my history is splashed all across the sidewalks and streets of my hometown.  Every landmark is just a part of my backyard.

Columbus Circle

But, don’t worry, this isn’t a paean in blog form to good old New York.  This is a paean to how wonderful and strange life is!

at Lincoln center

Yesterday, as last week, and as I anticipate I’ll be doing all summer long, I went to yoga in the park.  You don’t understand – I got hooked after last week, and spent all week scouring New York via internet for other yoga classes in the park (it works for me).  Oh, and yes, people, this was my second yoga class ever.  And damn – was it tough.  Not so much physically strenuous, because we practiced Hatha yoga yesterday, with a mind towards restoration and opening the body gently.  But holy cow – it was COLD.  I think it was in the FIFTIES.  Last week it was in the eighties and beautiful.  If there is one thing this hottie cannot stand, it’s the COLD.  I’m hot, cold is the exact opposite.  No. Thank. You.  It was a real test for me – as I sat shivering on my mat before the class started I considered booking it to the nearest Starbucks but I’d already taken my mat  at the front of the group, so I figured I’d give it a shot.  I mean, I trekked all the way to Manhattan, may as well not waste it.

I'm in this picture!

I’m really glad I did end up staying for the whole class.  The yogi who led the session was really incredible, with amazing insights about yoga and the body. Yesterday’s practice actually helped enhance my performance in Pilates later on, so methinks yoga is a permanent mainstay in my physical activity.

After, I had some time to kill so I ended up wandering around the city.  I got hit on by a boy who knows my boyfriend, and upon narrowly escaping him (so creepy, he came up to me and said, “I was watching you doing yoga.” EW) I ran face-first into an old friend from high school whom I haven’t seen in years.  Let me tell you, there is nothing more positively affirming than to see someone you haven’t seen in a long time, and have them tell you that the path you’re on is just “so you!”  My life feels like one big conglomeration of RIGHT right now, and everyone can see it.

LIncoln Center

I ended up at Lincoln Center.

Once upon a time, I truly believed with all my heart that my destiny, my path, would lead me to the hallowed stages of the Metropolitan Operahouse and the New York State Theater.  In fact, there was no doubt in my mind that I was on a straight course right there.  I once was an opera singer, and I was absolutely certain that my adult life, my future, would be spent on stage at the world’s greatest opera houses, lead-soprano style.

How strange, now, to look at these buildings and no longer imagine myself gracing the stage with my presence.  How strange, also, that these feelings are not bittersweet in the least.  I am comfortable that I have let go of that path – comfortable, and happier than I ever have been.

my favorite part of this picture is the guy speeding through talking on the phone. you can see his wedding ring.

I remember when I cried over my rejection from Julliard, even though I’d already convinced myself I didn’t “really” want to go there.  Bullshit, what young aspiring musician doesn’t hope they get into Julliard?  Of course, a year later when I had dropped the music performance program in favor of English at my liberal arts college, trust me, not getting into Julliard suddenly meant nothing.  And tnow, it means nothing.  It’s just a good story, a status symbol of my former skill, that my teachers thought me good enough to apply to Julliard.

But it is strange, how so many of my dreams seem to conglomerate in that cultural center of New York.  I can turn my back on those dreams, keeping the girl I once was close to my heart, because I have new dreams, all with an eye to keep me happy.  Music was not the world for me – I have never been a highly competitive person, and being a performer is first and foremost competition.  I have a new future now.

Cryptic image for the win.  Right? Right.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.

Henry David Thoreau

And so I shall.

What is your dream? No matter how simple or absurd, I want to know!  And I truly believe that you do have what it takes to achieve your dreams.

Have you ever let go of a dream? What was it?  How do you feel about it now?

And with that, my hotties, I’m off to go chase my dreams.